For the past few weeks, I’ve been writing my blogs on Tuesday nights, before going to bed. That way, I wouldn’t be cramming my thoughts before lunch time (like today!). Taking into account, I‘ve been working on Wednesday mornings for my paying job. I refuse to call it my real job, because my real job is writing, and I just need a second job to help with my expenses.
But as everybody has heard f, last night was an utterly sad breakthrough (what’s the opposite of breakthrough?) for America. Democrats have lost, and any definable future is up in the air.
I’m usually apolitical. See, I grew up hearing the rants and ravings of a leftists hippie. And that kind of turned me off from ever leaning to either side. At some point, a second-generation activist tried recruiting me in LFS, but I told him I’m too much of an elitist to join the group. I like Ely Buendia too much. LOL. I don’t know how many times I’ve told this story, but I still think it’s funny.
Before I went to sleep last night, I had this terrified feeling pushing my blood up to my temple. I literally can feel the pressure pushing my skull to explode.
America has made its decision — it's not funny anymore. But we've all got to deal with it.
Speaking of decisions, as I was mulling over the future, I came to a conclusion last night. I don't want to compete in screenplay competitions anymore.
Don't get me wrong; I am not exactly giving up. But what I want to be is writer-director with a cult following. I don't want to be a mainstream staff writer coddled by suits and overshadowed by head writers.
I want to be a Rodriguez, a Tarantino, a Tran Ahn Hung — gambling with a pink slip, not taking a chance on luck or cards other people dealt.
I want my vision out there, without restraints or censorship.
And although my scripts are far from being ready to shoot, I don't think spending that much money on what feels like lottery would realize my vision either.
For example, in Takatak's case — I would write and keep on writing until I am satisfied and until I can finally see the way I want people to see it. I would get help, of course, but not from a place that would get my hopes up and then be trampled on.
Come on, let’s build my portfolio.