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GARCHU! I'M DEKYA|WRITER, GEEK|FANGIRL, FLIP|WELCOME TO STRANGE WATERS|WHERE I WRITE SENSELESS THINGS

Slow as Molasses in January

For the past three weeks, I was training a kid for a supervisor job. The kid was promising -- he's always presentable, he's always on time, and he's persuasive with words. So I thought that was enough to believe he's perfect for the job.

Apparently, he isn't.

The job isn't so hard. The most they do is count money, count inventory, and answer people's inquiries. Some stock ordering, which is already pre-calculated in a template. Some inventory entry into the register system, which is just a lot of typing. That's why, most of the times, the supervisors are just chatting with their cashiers. 

Yet, training five days a week for three weeks, he still didn't know where the files are, which file to open, what numbers to look at. He makes up excuses for his lapses, but he doesn't work on it, so he makes the same mistakes over and over. I end up yelling at him because I just couldn't take it anymore. It's infuriating, even just remembering it. 

I could not tell where his problem lies. He tells me he's working hard on it and he just needs time. But I thought three weeks was plenty enough time for him to learn, with us and on his own. 

And so after investing money, time, effort, and much much self-control in him for three weeks, I finally decided to save my losses.  

Then there's this other kid of mine -- I call it TAKATAK -- it has enormous potential. It has a great feel and look. It's timely. And it has a great message. I've been working on this kid for over two years. I've re-written it from scratch 5 times, with 3-5 editing for each version. 

And I'm still no where near completion.

I've spent a lot of money on this too. Sent it for proofreading and editing (roughly $150). Entered it to different writing competitions -- I think I've spent at least $200 for that. Of course copyright offices -- around $50. I know that's not much yet, but for my salary and expenses that's a lot.  

I have had no progress for the past two weeks, not because of the kid I was training, but because I can't seem to find the right words to put in Takatak. I'm on the last sequence, the climax. Making my way to the ending feels so long, and far, and hopeless.

I think about what the boy in the story wants to say, and I can't find his exact words. I think he's confused now. He's confused about how he feels. He's confused about his own agenda. He's confused about what he really believes in. Was he born a monster? Was he raised as a monster? Or did society turn him into a monster? 

He's as confused as I am.  

So how long do I still need to invest in this boy? Another year? Another decade? How much? Another thousand dollars?

Or should I cut my losses short? Release it to the wild and save me the pain, misery, and stress dealing with it? 

I don't know man ... Should I let go? My body says yes. My mind says no. 

But then, I've always had a hard time letting go. 

525 words in 1 hour
Phew! I thought I wouldn't make it to 500.





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